If A and B are 100 metres apart, and a man with a box of chocolates starts with no velocity from point A towards his insignificant other at point B, accelerating at .2 metres per second before achieving a constant speed of 1 mps for the rest of his journey, how long do they both have until they both grow to deeply hate each other, slowly getting older and losing the beauty and sheen of youth, ending in a shambles of a once ripe marriage that will fall apart, leaving them both cynical and hateful husks of the people they were, before dying and realising that the only thing that's waiting for them in the afterlife is darkness.

Please phrase your answer in the form of tears.


This year it's much less not liking Valentines because I lack a significant other and it's a stupid holiday either way, but just because it's Valentines and it's a holiday and if it's a holiday I should get it off. Except it's Saturday so I technically do, but it should be on a weekday and I should not be forced to do anything productive on it.

But to people who do celebrate and spend it with their loved or unloved one, Happy Valentines Day, I hope that you enjoyed it and that rampaging killer love alligators didn't eat you both.

(Also, if I was thinking of joining an OCT, what would you say?)